This is reality in all its splendor. A little bit of "Couples Retreat", mixed in with a slight touch of "Wisteria Lane"(although on steroids) and some quirky moments from "According to Jim" and in a sadistic moment I thought a few moments of "Big Bang Theory" would have thrown them off kilter just a little bit more. The problem is that the crazy bunch of scientists would not have made it quite into this Newton neighborhood, not ambitious enough!
But my dear fellow sugars, honeys, babes, angels, Snootin' Newton is preparing for landing! Okay give or take a few indiscretions and idiosyncrasies, popular Crystal Lake Lane in Newton is the address to die for. It is the place where trust fund babies are born, where half the kiddos born last year were Fifty Shades babies; where the children are always immaculately dressed with good manners, Dr. Phil is the highlight of each day, mums cocoon themselves in love-bubbles of soft pink and blue; marathon mums favors exercise much more essential than waxing; miracle underwear and tornadoes in glasses builds up enough va va vooms in wives to blow the spouses brains out so that they cannot think about the knockout gorgeous babysitters, such as Jessie Armstrong, with the posh English accent, the masters degree student in psychology.
Soon not only the seasons will change in the lane. Rosebud wallpaper will even be considered cat vomit as well. And in reflection of the metaphorical high-voltaged fireworks display that shook the inhabitants and the innocent homes, Fifi, the Shih Tzu, and Rusty, the bulldog, will produce a Botox-induced litter of Bull-Shits, while Orga, the Labrador, will watch over them like a grandmother. In fact, Bull-Shits are not only the new kids on the block, they are the "new must-haves!"
Living in Crystal Lake lane is like being specially chosen as babies and dropped into awesomeness! If it was impossible to forget Wisteria Lane, you won't do any better with Newton Neighbors either. Anything that leaves a trail of glitter will always shine!
My five star rating: It is not a fairy tale - the villain is the hottest guy on the block, in fact! And everyone makes stupid mistakes that would have Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory bawling his eyes out. The characters are very well developed; the plot is perfectly constructed, all the elements come together as it should. The story delivers on its promises. It is predictable and clichéd enough to make it an all-American heartwarming romantic comedy. It leaves a happy pumping of the heart behind.
It is fast moving and exhilarating; makes fun of all our silly hang-ups; is a thrilling jog through the American psyche of hard work, resilience, and all the right reasons for good living. How I would love to live in Chrystal Lake Lane!
If you desperately need a feel-good thrill in your life, with a couple of fireworks thrown into the mix for a few personal hollering crack-ups, this book is for you!